After a decades-long struggle with alcohol, drugs, and a destructive lifestyle that nearly cost him his life, Jason has been sober for five years. He credits his faith in Christ and a higher power for his sobriety, believing that God is his saviour in life.
Prior to this point, his life was characterised by a series of self-destructive behaviours, including excessive drinking, cocaine abuse, and high-stakes gambling. Although alcohol was the primary cause of his decline, it was merely a symptom of a much deeper issue. While alcohol and other vices may not have always been detrimental, they inevitably led to negative consequences, as addiction often begins in pain and ends in pain.
Addiction begins in pain and ends in pain
Dependence sequences emerged from a deep emptiness in his soul that he tried to fill with various forms of addiction. The root of his problems can be traced back to his upbringing. His parents weren’t religious and he had a difficult childhood. His father worked as a Doorman for extra income, and their garage was turned into a gym where many of Liverpool’s Doormen came to weight train on their days off. His childhood was steeped in toxic masculinity, and he learned to suppress his emotions as showing vulnerability was met with a ‘Grin and bear it’ attitude. He suffered early trauma due to his father’s violent, controlling, and possessive behaviour, which led to frequent episodes of uncontrollable rage.
Greek-Italian name was a target of bullying
On starting secondary school his Greek-Italian surname was a target for bullying. He spent his first year out of sight and avoided disclosing to his Dad that he was being brutalised by his classmates. There was no safe place, home or school. Before long, his Dad found out about his teenage tormentors, it became evident from his nightly terrors and shrieking. At 13 his Dad instructed him to take up mixed martial arts training, dropping him off, routinely, after school. Installing a disciplined structure of martial arts training was core to his daily entity. He became an accomplished fighter and the taunting impeded, however, his wayward behaviour would eventually lead to him being expelled from school.
The effects of trauma and low self-esteem were alleviated by downing cans of Strongbow, which gave him the confidence to approach girls at the park. He then added cocaine and speed to the mix. At the age of 14, his reckless pursuit of pleasure, alcohol, and drugs can be attributed to his difficult relationship with his domineering father.
His reckless pursuit of pleasure, alcohol, and drugs can be attributed to his difficult relationship with his domineering father
When he was 16, he took a break from drugs and criminal activities. During that time, he ran into an old school friend who introduced him to the idea of God. A few weeks later, he decided to attend church and ended up dedicating his life to Christ, which brought him peace and joy. He found guidance from father figures in the Church and mentors who were Godly.
His troubled teenage passage with drink, drugs and crime became a reality of the past. He returned to learning at college and was content. However, the baggage of the past led to many missteps, becoming married too young, and he now has a daughter of 23. University was his next move, he became disillusioned with the church, vulnerable to his vices and fell to temptation. He gained his former reputation of someone who could handle himself back and started working as a doorman. Dissatisfied with life and finding solace in going out drinking, lined up in parallel. Disillusion with faith, and the tapping of an addictive lifestyle led to relationship problems. The meaningless, false egotism he gained from his spiralling lifestyle resulted in the panic attacks of his childhood returning.
He began working for his Dad, a watchman for the flats he had acquired through dubious investments. Demanding rents, handling evictions, and ensuring bills were paid. A lifestyle of drinking and cocaine, combined with going to the football. One memorable game had been when Liverpool had been playing QPR. Suffering a severe trussing after being violently encompassed by hoops fans. Body blows and the skull wrenching fuel for more trauma. Marching after the Reds, Newcastle Saturday, and London a week Sunday, led to regularly being kicked out of pubs, numerous riots then popping diazepam before work Monday morning. Street fighting was shoulder to shoulder with ritualistic Cage Fighting held at venues across the UK and Western Europe. Now, a regular cage fighter, running with football crews, coke, alcohol and in full and deadly deceit of addiction.
A regular cage fighter, running with football crews, coke, alcohol and in full and deadly deceit of addiction
In his thirties, he had become complex and misunderstood. Finding himself engulfed by Liverpool’s gangland, caught up in a drugs deal off Breeze Hill. This went catastrophically wrong, winding up in hospital a further time after a shattering slam to the face.
This lifestyle spiralled downward due to the toxic codependent relationship between the couple. They both had demanding jobs, indulged in alcohol and cocaine regularly, and partied non-stop.
The majority of his family had disowned him, his overtly violent behaviour excluding him from being invited to Weddings and family parties. When he found himself waking up in the morning with his hands shaking, he took this as a warning sign and tried going to an AA meeting. However, he would need to travel further on his downward trajectory.
His wife was next to make haste, after a rage-fuelled drinking session he smashed up his house and then attacked his neighbour. She swiftly departed following his violent demise and took their young daughter, finding sanctuary North of the border in Scotland. Escaping custody he was given a two-year suspended sentence. However, his employment was to come to an end, after numerous occasions of downing drinks before work and snorting cocaine ahead of meetings he was offered voluntary redundancy.
After hitting rock bottom, he realised that he needed to go through detox. Sadly, it took several more falls before he was successful. Eventually, he lost his mortgage and home, and had to move into his mother’s spare room. Due to his heavy drinking, he found it difficult to make the trip to the nearest bottle shop, so his ageing and terminally ill mother would go for him. She would return with wet liquor in a plastic bag jutting from the handles of her mobility scooter.
Wet liquor from a plastic bag jutting from the handles of her mobility scooter
After a nearly fatal episode induced by alcohol, he went through detox followed by rehabilitation. Fortunately, this treatment was successful and he was able to start living a clean and sober life. Sadly, his mother passed away during the lockdown, but he remained sober to deliver her eulogy and bid his final farewells at her funeral.
Jason’ life is now filled with positivity. He has started attending church once again and Cross Roads Meetings held at BNENC in Everton. His daughter has also come back into his life, and his family is inviting him to weddings afresh.
Jason has achieved many things since turning his life around. He has completed a Master’s Degree and a counselling qualification and is now working to help others who have struggled with addiction. He is grateful to Christ for pulling him out of addiction and crime, and for opening doors to a fruitful life.
Jason is now living a life of sobriety, positive relationships, and space for God. He is grateful for the essence of life and all the opportunities that have come his way.
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