She Pees: New Years

She Pees: New Years!

You’re 3 years old, pull ups and potties have been outgrown, but the bathroom is occupied. You don’t want to ruin the celebrations by wetting yourself. . .

You’re 13 and at a friend’s house for a new years eve party. Two of your friends are making out in the bathroom. The door is locked and you really need to pee…..

You’re 20, in the back of a car, speeding down the motorway with daylight encroaching. Coming home from a massive New Years Eve club night and your head is buzzing. You really need to pee but you can’t ask the driver to pull over as you are unsure of his level of intoxication and you don’t want to be stopped by the Highways agency. . .

You’re 30, the kids were messing around earlier in the day, head splitting with them off school you ignored them. In that, they blocked the toilet with soaked toilet paper. You really need to pee, but there’s no chance of getting a plumber until the holidays are over. . .

You’re 40, in the front of the car as your husband drives to the A+E department in another city. Your son has been rushed to hospital after attending a New Years Eve rave with his college mates. Every second matters to get to him, you need to pee, but you can’t pull over as time is critical. . .

You’re 50 and gone with your husband to visit his only remaining uncle to bring him some New Year’s cheer. He only uses the ground floor of the house because he can’t get upstairs. To add to this he doesn’t like people going up there and he’s losing his marbles. The only lav is outside and it’s absolutely filthy with fungi encroaching on the toilet seat, you really need to go. . .

You’re 60 and babysitting the grandkids for the evening celebrations. They have a special touch screen to control everything and you can’t work out how to open the bathroom door. You’ve asked the kids, but they are too young, you’ve text messaged your son but are still waiting for an answer. You really need to pee. . .

You’re 70, your husband has gone for a long bath and looks to have nodded off. You are making a cheesecake for dinner tomorrow, your bladder is not as strong as it used to be and you really need to pee. . .

You’re eighty, wheelchair seated, at your sons for New Years day and surrounded by the extended family. You need to pee, but can’t get up the stairs and don’t want any fuzz, but you really need to go. . .

The solution

A water bottle!

Easy to position as you perch into place. First bit is tricky, you miss some before you position to collect most of the flow. You end up with some pee on your holding hand but most is in the rubber bottle which is about a third full.

Then the best bit!

You wipe yourself dry on the furry case, it is soft and fluffy, a smile encompasses your face.

Relief. . . 

Eco Christmas Craft

A great Eco Christmas Crafting project with the kids.

Take one toilet roll inner.

Cut out triangles to make a tree shape.

Paint green, allow to dry.

Add some darker tones of green paint.
Stuff with either shredded green paper or basket lining. Stick gem to top, add glitter if desired.
After Christmas, remove gem to re-use, recycle the remainder.

Liverpool’ Rustiest New Landmark

Liverpool’ Rustiest New Landmark

What is this?

We ask from a distance

Is it a building in the process of being demolished?

Some kind of rust ridden shipping structure?

A foundation of beams constructed from rusted steel?

But no!

We get closer

It is a solid form

Not open edged

Or girder exposed

We think back

The inner ring

Newly titled: Paddington Village

Where Tocky turns city centre

New builds sprung up all around

Hotels and student accommodation

But there wasn’t a high rise there to come down

We walk closer

A stones throw from the structure

Eyes aghast


Yes, a new build

Clad in oranges and browns

Textures contrasting

To look like rust?

Novotel for the Soul?

Novotel at Paddington Village, a 17 storey, 221 bedroom hotel costing 40 million to construct. Due to open in July 2022 with a host of amenities including sleek interiors of merit.

So why did they opt for rusty coloured cladding?

Ryder architecture, the firm behind the design we emailed on Monday to clarify the motivation behind the choice of cladding. I am yet to receive a response.